Why You Don’t Want To Deliver To A Trapper

I suppose every United Parcel Service driver has his day.   Today appeared to be just such a day for my local area driver.

Poor guy, I’m sure his day started out much like any other day.   He probably received morning instructions from his manager.   Completed some office work as required.   Then hopped into his pre-loaded truck to begin the daily route.

It’s about the time the driver stepped into his truck he probably first took notice this was not going to be just an ordinary day.   Nope, no longer.   You see, this driver has a sportsman on his delivery route.   Oh, and not just a regular sportsman either, mind you.   It was today that my UPS driver painfully realized that he delivers packages to a trapper.

Yesterday I placed an order online for some trapping supplies.   Usually I buy stuff locally at a trapping supply house, but there are just some things you have to order from other sources.   In this case, I opted to order some red fox and coyote urine.

You can probably guess where this post is going…but I would expect you to be wrong in those assumptions.   No, the urine did not bust out of its container en route to my location.   No, from what I could tell not a single drop escaped into the very secure packaging.   Truth is, the reason I buy these fluids from this particular supplier is they have the good stuff.   It absolutely reeks…and that is exactly how a trapper likes it.

Unfortunately, that is not how a UPS driver likes it.   He jumped out of his truck carrying my package faster than I had ever seen him move before.   Had this been a cartoon he most assuredly would have had a clothespin pinching his nose shut to provide some relief from the overpowering stench.   I’m sure that thought had crossed his mind several times earlier in the day.

I stuck my head out of the house and informed him to set the package near the garage.   As payback he wanted to bring it to the house…I said “no way.”   Honestly, I was 20 yards away and I could already smell his pain.   A good animal urine purchased from a reputable trapping supply house will always be pungent, especially in confined spaces.

Indeed, it’s days like this my delivery guy really earns his keep.   All joking aside, I’m sure it wasn’t pleasant for him to ride around for several hours in a truck that smelled more like a predator scent post.   His complaining was well disguised as some joking banter back and forth.

I guess the timing just wasn’t right for me to share the other news with him.   Yeah, I forgot to order the fish oil…a substance more rancid smelling than predator pee.   Yup, that package should be coming later this week.

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